Reel Horror

Yea, we like to get F*cked up and do F*cked up shit!

That one line, majestically delivered by Baby (Sheri Moon) pretty much
describes this whole movie. This is f*cked up. It truly is F*cked up shit.
This movie confirms my long- lasting belief that Rob Zombie is just a tad, (A
TAD!) crazy.

The premise is this: It's the classic tale of 4 teens on a road trip, traveling around the country writing a book about a All the crazy shit you see when you drive cross country. They run out of gas and find a small, roadside attraction, Captain Spalding's Museum of Monsters and Madmen. (Which, also, sells home-style fried chicken. Hehe.)The museum includes a murder ride, which tells the tale of one Doctor Satan. Captain Spalding, being the crazy clown bastard that he is, informs the kiddies that the tree which he was hung from was Not but a stone's throw away from where yawl's asses are seated right now. This, in turn,
interests the crazy Comic Relief teen, who wants to check it out. The girls are reluctant, but check it out. As they are driving, they spot a hitchhiker on the side of the road. When they pick her up, their car tire gets blown out and she offers to keep them in her home until they can get it fixed. Bad Move, dudes. They enter the house and find the Uber-Addams family, including a giant,burned son, a crazy, horny grandpa, and a seductress mother who, for some reason, reminds me of Lonnie Anderson (don't ask why).

In a backstory, six cheerleaders from the town were kidnapped and are
consequently being held captive at The House (of a Thousand CorpsesQuestionMark?) After they try to leave, the Addams chase them and hold them captive in their house, with Otis explicitly torturing them in any way
possible (BTW, Love the Burn this FlagTshirt, Very Chiq.) I seriously hated this film the first time I saw it. It was horrible and gruesome and just plain ick, but I went home and checked out all of the classic horror flicks (Texas Chainsaw Massacre, etc.) and went back and saw it a second time and I actually mildly enjoyed it. This movie is a great big shout out to older movies in its genre, and Zombie does a great job in making a creepy vibe around it. While its not really scary, its entertaining, and that's what counts. Yes, I would recommend this movie

Cotton
C+