Reel Horror

Bram Stoker's Dracula asin: 0800177177

It is obvious that a dirty old man has directed this version of Bram Stokers Dracula. It focuses more on half nude vampire women than on our favourite counts evilness. My guess is that Francis Ford Coppola went to bed with a hard-on every night during the shootings. It was filmed back in 1992, a few years before Viagra hitted the world.

I can sometimes get tired of this cliché that vampire movies always fall into. Why all the sexiness? I mean, I am not the one who pukes if I see a sexy woman in her natural style, but I would really like too see a real raw Count Dracula, who’s only interests in humans is their blood.

And it is kind of low to the women of the world to make them simple-minded creatures. One look from the count and they spread their legs and pray: “Oh, dark Lord, please, please fook me, I am nothing but a stupid woman, my body is yours, fook is all I can offer you, because fook is all I can do!”

Beside this unnecessary cliché, I think this is a good horror movie. It is well done, well acting and the surroundings feel true. I have not read the entire book, but I get the feeling that it follows the original story fairly.

Hopkins is superb as Van Helsing. Oldman is superb as the Count. Keanu Reeves is s... No.
There has been some crap about Reeves pale portrait of the young lawyer and that he makes a bad job talking as an English gentleman. I don’t agree with that. I thought he was okay, and spoke just as stupid as everybody else.

This movie focuses too much on romance and sexiness in my opinion. That means that something else has to step back from the spotlight. Unfortunately, in this chase, it is the horror. Bram Stokers Dracula never gets scary. There is only two scary points to reward this movie with. First is the knife-licking. Secondly is that white wig. What the hell is that?

I just hardly recommend this movie.

Let me end up this review with a piece of advice directed to future-being-movie-makers that plans a version of Dracula. The count suffers from blood thirst, not broken heart.